


Shiny New Toy

by Nitrobot



Category: Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Hand Jobs, Implied Relationships, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Size Difference, Woman on Top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:38:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4173237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitrobot/pseuds/Nitrobot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>True, being a frag magnet for a Decepticon femme wasn't the worst fate in the world, but it wasn't how Sideswipe had planned to spend his day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shiny New Toy

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr request for smuttycircus, inspired by some Filchswipe fanart we've both seen floating about, also posted here: http://nitrostation.tumblr.com/post/121993002002/as-promised-to-smuttycircus-filch-sideswipe-smut

Sideswipe was beginning to realise why the Autobot regulations were so strict about using the 'buddy system' when it came to patrols. 

Because when he went solo, bad things happened. Specifically, he got mechnapped. By a very large, very hungry looking Decepticon. And Sideswipe had been paranoid ever since Strongarm had been reading up on the beast 'Cons who had taken all too well to their more primal and aggressive appetites- namely, making a snack out of their own species. 

Then again, he never did catch a good look at his captor's faceplate before she snuck up on him. He barely registered the shift in the air before he was hefted up by his ped as it tried to turn and hauled over her shoulder, leaving his helm jolting against her aft as she stalked into the cover of the trees. Usually he wouldn't have complained, but what would Bumblebee say if he found him ogling the enemy?

More importantly, what would Strongarm say?

Probably something that would have him making a berth out of the scrapyard floor for the next lunar cycle. 

As the landscape behind him and his captor changed from plains to deep forestry, he finally tried bargaining with her. "Listen, I know I look tasty, all red and gleaming-" Damn, why did he spend half the morning polishing his armour? "-but really I'm not worth the effort. You'll be picking rusty struts out of your denta for the next vorn. Now if you let me go, I... I'll show you lots of other bots you can eat instead!" Sideswipe only realised he'd just offered to sacrifice his only friends a nanoklick before he was ungraciously dropped onto his helm, pain blooming just behind his processor as his optics started to glitch. 

He felt the softness of metal shavings beneath his servos before his optics cleared enough to see them, carpeting the mess of woven wires that he'd been dumped into. It looked almost like the bird nests he'd been scolded for knocking out of trees during training exercises, integrated into a low hanging branch of a towering oak. He hadn't even noticed they'd been climbing with his helm straining to see the 'Con's face. 

But now she was eager to get up close and personal with him, drilling a blue and yellow stare into him and craning her neck inwards. Sideswipe didn't have much room to shuffle backwards before hitting a wire wall.

"Shinyyyy." Her optics glittered and glazed all over him, only reassuring that she was thinking of the quickest way to devour him. Sideswipe wasn't sure if he could make the fall back to solid ground without breaking something, and then his death would be a certainty. 

As usual, all he had to help him was his big, dumb mouth.

"Y'know, shiny armour is a sign of a very important Autobot. S-So, if you hurt me then you'll get all my other important friends hunting you down! And they've all got guns, big ones!" The 'Con didn't even seem to be listening, prowling closer to him and kicking up plumes of shavings with every step forward. Sideswipe didn't even want to know what they were, either the remnants of her other victims or...

Or like metal feathers. In his panic he hadn't even noticed the wings draping down her servos, but now they flicked and ruffled themselves together every other klick. 

The Alchemor did have a Corvicon listed in the prison roster... Filch, he remembered. And what did he know about Corvicons? Obsessed with reflective objects, often with flight-enabled T cogs, distantly related to lilleths...

Oh, and like their ancestors, they had annual mating seasons.

That would explain her fizzling EM field and why she was so intent on nuzzling his codpiece.

"Shiny mate..." Filch purred, bringing her helm up his chestplate and closer to his own. The sheer weight of it would have crushed him if she wasn't so distracted by prying his legs open. 

At least she wasn't trying to eat him, or Allspark-forbid get at his spark chamber. True, being a frag magnet for a Decepticon femme wasn't the worst fate in the world, but it wasn't how Sideswipe had planned to spend his day. "Um, I'm flattered, really, but I'm... kind of spoken for-" Strongarm would protest against that, he knew, but she wasn't here to object. Or save him. Sometimes he really did miss that stubborn slagger. 

Either Filch couldn't understand him, or she didn't really care. She only needed two claws to grab all of his codpiece and start rubbing into it, hard presses against the harder thudding trapped underneath it. Despite the fading pain in his helm and the trauma of the day, he was actually getting aroused by the whole experience. He was only glad Sunstreaker would never hear about it, else he have another thing to blackmail his twin with. 

Now there was three digits trying to get inside his interface, and her engines were starting to whine from frustration. Maybe if she couldn't get in she'd let him go... that was what Sideswipe was betting on before he felt another nuzzle into his neck. Looking sideways, the blue of her optics seemed to be dimmer and she was pouting at him. Her low coo was loud enough to shake some leaves off the oak. "Please?"

Primus, why did the bad femmes have to be so damn persuasive? 

Sideswipe sucked in air through his vents. "You'll let me go if I..." He gestured down at his codpiece, and Filch actually nodded at him. 

Trusting a Decepticon was only marginally worse than fragging one, so he might as well go the whole mile down that deadly road. He reached into a hidden seam on his panel for the release switch, and his spike emerged before the plate was even fully retracted. The light in Filch's optics was back with a few extra megawatts thrown in, and allowed herself a few klicks to admire the glowing transfluid lines and crimson ribs before climbing into his lap. 

He was hoping she wasn't wanting to ride him, but he'd survive a few armour dents and snapped tension cables from her weight. Her protoform biolights almost matched the cyan fluid pumping through his spike as it settled against her abdomen plating. A drop actually managed to squeeze out before coursing down his cord, prompting another curious coo from Filch.

"Shiny!" She flicked a claw against his spike head as if trying to get some more out, but Sideswipe was paying more attention to the warm wetness starting to spread over his hips. 

Either she'd sprung an energon leak, or that was a very big valve between her legs. And it was starting to grind against him, sliding closer to his spike lying pitifully small against her. 

Not only was he breaking at least a dozen Autobot regulations, he was getting self conscious about it as well. In a way he wish she actually did just kill him. 

"Well, let's get this over wi-" Filch obeyed before he'd even finished, sliding herself over the whole of his spike as if he hardly bigger than a Minicon. Lubricant flooded past him, drenching the nest and his legs as Filch started bouncing on top of him. Her valve didn't so much hold his spike as completely swallow it in a gush of pleasure and violet lube. 

After a while Sideswipe found that he didn't mind it so much, content to rub himself against a wall of nodes whenever he managed to hit one and watching the slack-jawed ecstasy on Filch's faceplate. Whatever he was doing, it was working wonders for her. Observing her also told him whenever she overloaded, since her valve was in a constant state of squeezing tremors. He wasn't so bothered about reaching his own climax- as long as she eventually got exhausted enough to let him go before nightfall (not to mention with enough time to clean himself up), he was happy. 

Filch didn't seem to share the thought, though. She paused her riding mid-overload, cocking her helm sideways with a concerned purr. 

"Shiny overload?" Sideswipe was so used to hearing moaning that he was surprised at the sound of words, and doubly so to find Filch looking down at him. She lifted herself off his spike with a squelch, flipping her panel closed to stop the flow of lube. His spike was more purple than red now, slick with the femme's fluids, but no transfluid just yet. 

His optics widened as she closed a hand around his base. "Oh, you don't need to... do anything like-"

Filch just fluttered her optics before stroking, using the ends of her claws to tease the bulb of his cord. Sideswipe hissed in a moan before it could catch wind, but soon they were too much for him to subdue. It was like several valves all clamped around him at once, each squeezing in time and coaxing his climax out further. It was all he could do not to be thinking of Strongarm- not if he didn't want to just add to the mess of Filch's nest. 

But even without another clouding his thoughts, Sideswipe's overload ended up covering them both in transfluid as he woke the whole forest up with a groan. Filch seemed delighted at the cyan stains on her chest and all over her claws, while Sides was still trapped in his own void of severely delayed pleasure.

When he eventually emerged from it, glossa lolling, Filch had closed her wings around him and was already halfway towards recharging. Of course the post-frag exhaustion only set in now. 

"Shiny sweetie..." she muttered sleepily, grazing her lips over his neck and holding him tighter. Sideswipe didn't have much else to do but awkwardly pat the side of her helm.

"Yeah, I've... had fun too."

**Author's Note:**

> Magpie more like magporn AM I RIGHT GUYS


End file.
